mom you are perfect
Mom, you are perfect.
I'm pretty sure by writing these lines that I won't be the only one to recognize myself in the following situation. I'm also pretty sure that I'm not the only mum to put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to my skills as a mum, to ask myself if I'm present enough, if I'm accompanying them enough, if they are well and if, in their own hearts, they are happy.
Because my long-term goal is to turn them into balanced and good little bits of humans, capable of making informed decisions and having the tools at their disposal to achieve their goals, regardless of the form that said Goals.
Which brings me to last weekend.
My three year old toddler and lots of personality had a tough day. Crises, difficulty expressing emotions in words, lots of crying, you get the picture. We have been working for a long time to help her better express what she feels and most of the time, we see great results. But Saturday was difficult.
She misunderstands the current situation from the height of her three years, does not see the people she loves and we spend most of the time outside the CPE at home. She talks to me about gymnastics, the swimming pool, Grandma. In her eyes, it's mom saying no. I try to find the right words to help her understand, but when she throws a tantrum, it's hard to reason with her, she doesn't really listen. It is when it is calm that we are able to put words to what has just happened and we then remember that a crisis does not bring us what we want, that we must talk about it. with words. In short, as I said, Saturday was difficult.
Difficult to the point where I cracked.
I ended my afternoon in tears, in my bed. I did not know what to do. One crisis, two crises, I'm trying to figure out what more I can do, but I'm at my wit's end too.
And that's where my five-year-old came to see me. This little one is amazing. An old soul, gentle and poised.
-Mom, are you okay?
-Yes sweetheart, mom is just a little sad, but it will be fine.
– (gives me a hug) I love you mum.
-I love you my baby. Is mom a good mom?
(I blamed myself for putting the weight of this question on my child's shoulders at the time, but his answer made me feel so good)
- Come on mum! You sure are a good mom! And dad is a good dad! I have the best parents in the whole world!
– (Cuddles again) Ahh sweetheart, if you only knew how good your words make me feel. Moms' hearts also need comfort sometimes.
– Don't worry mum, I have everything I need, I love you.
-I love you so much my kitten. More than all the stars in the sky.
-I love you more than infinity, that's a lot, isn't it mom?
- Yes my heart, it is immense. (endless hugs)
Her words took all the weight off my shoulders at the time. That's exactly what I needed to hear.
I got up and cradled my three-year-old in the living room telling her how much I love her and promising her that we were going to end the day well.
In retrospect, later that night, I thought maybe that's just it, being a good mom; to be perfect in the eyes of our children.
I promised myself to share this story with you because I know that we all need to remember from time to time that in the end, things are going well, and even if we put a lot (too much) pressure on ourselves, sometimes you just have to remember that in the eyes of our children, we are the best mothers in the world.
Worse, once you remember that properly, everything else will be fine.
Emilie Langlois
February 12, 2021
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